This blog has moved!

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Hey there,

it’s been almost three years since I started this blog and it’s time to finally move on. No, not the way you hoped, I’m not going away anytime soon. Instead, I moved the blog to my own server under its own domain.

The new site contains all the old stuff but also improves everything! Much faster server! New layout! HTTPS! More room for me to get creative! Yay!

So please direct your browser (or RSS reader)  to

https://tvfails.us

No new content will be posted here, move along please!

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Airplane! The Sequel

NBC’s The Blacklist: Redemption is on the air for a few weeks now and as I predicted it’s utter dreck. James Spader is missing every second, and the entire premise just feels extremely forced. Tom “I just want to be a dad” Keen suddenly spends all his time at his mother’s beck and call instead of doing that parenting thing he always dreamed of. Liz doesn’t really seem to mind or even notice – and how could she when she’s out chasing bad guys for Reddington in the main series?

Without Spader, there’s no comic relief either – unless the computer nerd counts, but his kind of humor really doesn’t click with me. Or maybe Solomon? He’s cool, but he’s ultimately a bad guy (not unlike Reddington, but Red’s just more charming).

After all, however, Redemption isn’t so different from your standard Blacklist fare: the storylines are ridiculous, the computers can’t be controlled without hammering on some kind of holo-keyboard (ever heared of a mouse, guys?) and Famke Janssen plays every bit as terrible and wooden as Megan Boone. The only upside is Terry O’Quinn, but his character is just not written well enough to be of much interest.

This post is a bit long, read on if you dare.

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Dude, what is my car?

I’m not going to lose many words about TNT’s winter filler show Major Crimes, mostly because there’s not much to say about it. Possibly also because I actually like it even though Mary McDonnell seems to be on Valium most of the time. How she got nominated for an Oscar ages ago is absolutely puzzling as she can’t act for shit. But hey, I love me some Lt. Provenza!

On the latest episode (5×19) I spotted quite the blunder which I’m going to write about. Can’t stop me now!

The team is looking for someone who killed a young cyclist by running him over with their car. Thanks to debris left at the crime scene, the detectives know what car they’re supposed to be looking for:

Good news, we know it’s an SUV made by either Chevy or GMC between the years 2000 and 2006.

Well, that certainly narrows it down a bit, doesn’t it? All that’s left is finding the correct car. After a while of frantic searching, the team is in luck! The mother of another car accident victim – who ironically was killed by the now-dead guy – owns one of these cars:

And she has two vehicles registered to her name. One is a 2006 Chevy Tahoe.

Unfortunately, that car is nowhere to be found as it’s probably in the shop to repair the damage from the hit-and-run. So the team is looking for the garage and, by some ways and means, discovers the car:

majorcrimes-5x19-gmc

Can’t see it here but there are scanlines on an image from a digital camcorder. – Image (c) TNT

Yeah, there’s really nothing wrong here. Except the huge GMC logo on the grille where the Chevrolet emblem is supposed to be. Oh, and the entirely different front. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s not a 2006 Chevrolet Tahoe at all, but what do I know? I’m not the detective here!

chevrolet-tahoe-2006-6

This is a 2006 Chevy Tahoe, by the way. Spot the differences! – Image (c) momentcar.com

The car they actually found is a 2006 GMC Yukon – at least they got the year right! Unfortunately, that doesn’t prove the soccer mom they’re arresting is guilty.

You asked, I answer

Let’s try something else! Looking through the Google searches that led my readers (that’s you!) to my blog, I found several questions you seemed to have. Here we go, ordered by show:

Image (c) FOX

Image (c) FOX

Q: “why does rosewood tv look so yellow”

Rosewood’s TV doesn’t look yellow, but the show’s producers certainly love color correction. Everything’s yellow on Rosewood, even things that shouldn’t be. Like blue sports cars. I assume that’s why Rosewood is driving a yellow car.

Q: “what is emp acronyn stand for on rosewood tv show?”

As far as I know there’s no mention of an EMP – which would be an electro-magnetic pulse – anywhere on Rosewood. I get what you’re asking, though: the EMPD is the East Miami Police Department where Detective Villa works.

Image (c) NBC

Image (c) NBC

Q: “english transtlation of the black list”

That would be “The Blacklist”. You’re very welcome.

Q: “ryan eggold german”

He’s not German, he’s from Long Beach, CA. If you meant “does he speak German”: not really, which should be a problem while pretending to be a neo nazi among Germans. Fortunately, neo nazis are pretty daft so they never notice.

 

(c) FX

(c) FX

Q: “abudhin country” (and variations)

If you want to know if Abuddin exists – nope, it’s a fictional country. However, it’s pretty clear where it is supposed to be (the middle east, duh!) as it shares a border with Syria.

Picture (c) Starz Originals

Picture (c) Starz Originals

Q: “thomas egan from power is he guy?”

He’s a guy, yeah. Does he look like a woman to you? If so, please recalibrate yourself.

You probably wanted to know if he’s gay. He’s not, as this article from famewatcher.com reveals. Although there are some pictures of him where you might get the wrong idea.

Q: “angela valdez is a slut” and “angela valdez is a hoe”

That’s not a question. However I tend to agree with your sentiment although I’d never call her that since I’m a nice person.

castlelogoQ: “castle carly rae sell out”

Oh hell yeah!

Something else to read

Since I don’t really have much to report currently, here’s something else worth looking at when you run out of stuff to read here:

https://moviecode.tumblr.com/

This blog attempts to find out where source code appearing on TV shows (and movies) was taken from. It’s a bit redundant sometimes since posts are reader submitted and many people send in the same stuff but it’s an interesting read regardless.

 

The Emperor’s Young Clothes

UPDATE: Veteran actor Bill Paxton, who plays the character this post is about, died on February 26th, 2017. I’d just like to clarify this post is not about Bill Paxton’s performance. In fact, he’s by far the best actor on this show and clearly does his best to save it, but in the end it’s a team effort and his effort alone is just not enough.

It’s Training Day, y’all!

Compated to the movie of the same name, the show is a bit lame, but it’s still better than the train wreck that was Rush Hour, just not as funny. This is just a quick post about something I noticed in episode 3 (and others, but it was most prominent here).

In a flashback at the end of that episode, we see Max Payne Detective Whatshisface shooting a dude and rescuing a girl. Apparently, this was 20 years ago, and here’s our hero:

Image (c) CBS

Image (c) CBS

And this is the same guy 20 years later:

Image (c) CBS

Image (c) CBS

Not much of a difference, you say? Neither do I since it’s the same actor. He even sports a similar beard and haircut, but in the first shot he’s wearing a hoodie and t-shirt to make him appear younger. I’d say he aged well since he manages to look worse twenty years ago.

Of course they could have cast a younger actor that looks alike like most shows would do, but … nah, screw it, that would cost money.

Ironically they manage to cast a perfect young counterpart to an older character in episode 4. Sometimes I really don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes.

Jammin’

Ransom, a rather new show on CBS, is about a team of professional – and commercial – hostage crisis negotiators. Why that’s a thing is beyond me as usually the police is pretty good at doing that already, but why not. Since it’s a CBS filler show – heck, it airs on Saturdays! – it’s pretty much a given that the paper-thin plot is peppered with plot holes and the cast is just as dull, and that’s okay – not every show can be the next Homeland. Oh, by the way – this is the gig Frank Spotnitz left The Man in the High Castle for. No, really. Must be a long way to fall from this height, but he finally hit rock bottom.

So far, the episodes were just your average nonsense but the third one pretty much did it for me. As usual, the script author probably read something about something, thought “hell, why not!” and went with it, logic be damned.

So there’s a hostage situation in a bank. The two hostage takers don’t want to negotiate because it’s not really about money, and obviously that’s a problem for our crisis negotiation team since they are hired to negotiate, not sit around in their thousand dollar suits and look pretty. The perps collected all the phones the hostages had on them so there’s no way to go around them and simply contact a hostage instead.

ransom103-smartwatch

Image (c) CBS

Luck has it, however, that one of the two rent-a-cops in the bank wears a smart watch, more specifically a Samsung Galaxy Gear. How do they know that? Because it’s visible on the security cameras, duh! Unfortunately, the police has a cell jammer active and doesn’t want to shut it down just because some smart looking fella asks them nicely.

What’s the idea here? Well, the lead negotiator pairs his smartphone with the watch and starts to send messages to it. Why any given smartwatch would be able to receive messages directly from the paired smartphone is beyond me as there’s really no need for that kind of feature. Remember: the watch is normally paired to the wearer’s phone, which is likely in their pocket – what good would it do to be able to send messages from the phone to the watch? Except for resolving a hostage crisis, of course, but I doubt that’s high on the priority list when developing a smart watch.

That kind of nonsense aside, the security guy wearing the watch is laying on the floor (he got shot) pretty far from the bank’s entrance and the negotiator is standing a few meters away from it as well. Given how supposedly terrible the Samsung Galaxy Gear’s bluetooth range is – way less than the average of 30 feet, which is about 9 meters – and the fact that there’s a wall and several desks between the phone and the watch, the entire “I’ll just pair my phone with his watch” thing likely wouldn’t work in the first place.

But it gets better. After the negotiator manages to send some messages to the smart watch and gather information about what’s going on inside the bank, he can convince the cops to drop the cellphone jammer in order to get a “dedicated signal” to the phone connected to the smart watch (which, at this point, would still be his own … yeah, this is really through through). Actual cell jammers do have a feature to allow certain phones, although I highly doubt there’s need to shut down the jammer to configure it. The whole “dedicated signal” stuff is nonsense anyway – the cell jammer would simply be blacklisting any and all mobile signals except the ones that are on the whitelist, in this case the phone inside the bank and the negotiator’s phone, and the phones used by the cops.

Fantastic technical research, guys. No, really. No wonder Mr. Robot gets glowing reviews for their way of displaying actual technology at work when everyone else is just doing a hack job out of it every single time. Doesn’t really take much to shine in this colorful CSI world most shows tend to live in. Ugh.

Oh, and while we’re at it – what the fuck is this:

ransom103-screen

Image (c) CBS

No, I don’t mean the cop grinning like a moron, although … yeah, that too. No, what I’m talking about is the … holographic screen that is perfectly readable against bright sunlight. There’s even some room for nonsensical widgets that don’t seem to display any feasible information, and let’s not forget the very important company logo which is  always a great use of screen real estate! Now that’s some prime CSI tech right there! Must have blown out their entire SFX budget given an explosion of four blocks of C4 in a tight air duct looks like this:

ransom103-boom

Image sequence (c) CBS

Oh well. At least there still was some cash left to add a bunch of colored lights to the detonator.